I took timeout from LJ five months ago to nurse my heart. Talk about irony, but more sad things happened. I know that the experiences gained will make me stronger and decide much better in the future, so I am doing my best in living my life at least one step at a time. ^__^
Here goes a 2009 update..
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In memories
Kuya Jojo, a first cousin of mine, lost his wife early this year. Ate Edwina had Stage 4 Cancer of the Kidney, but was actually responding well to the treatments and dialysis. The day before she died, the couple and their four young girls even went to the carnival. They had a really good time. The next day, Ate Edwina complained that she had difficulty breathing. Kuya Jojo immediately borrowed a mode of transportation from the neighbor. Ate Edwina died while being rushed to the hospital. Kuya Jojo was clutching and embracing her all that time. The wake was held in our compound, literally 10 steps away from our house—the same venue where my Lola Maria (I was a Lola’s girl; she died barely five months after my college graduation-- never really had the chance to give her the materials things I wanted her to enjoy) and Lolo Floring had their wakes at.
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Two days before the burial, Ate Maryann was rushed to the Quezon City General Hospital. She was the eldest daughter of the eldest brother of my Mom. Ate Maryann, had been enduring this persistent side pain for years—the same I’m also complaining about for more than half a decade now. Obviously, tests from different hospitals have been made (And believe me: Been there. Done that. Negative, of course). Barely three weeks later, Ate Maryann died due to Pneumonia- a complication from her side pain. The reason for her side pain? Doctors remained clueless not until her autopsy. It was a tumor hiding behind her fallopian tube. Again, the wake was held on the same venue.
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(Just a short history, my other grandmother died from stomach cancer, while my favorite uncle, Tito Vic, is a colon cancer survivor.
I also had my first operation this year. The scar of the 21 stitches still hurt when touched, but I'm OK. Really.)
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A month later, I went home exhausted from a labor court proceeding (I’ll tell you more about it in the future, but the gist of the story is that my colleagues and I filed a serious full-blown case against our previous employer), because I wanted to save a few pesos from eating out. I had a job interview in two hours, so I quickly ate my lunch, then, prepared myself for that afternoon.
As I was closing our front door, Vince came rushing towards me yelling that Jes is in labor. Jes is my 7-month pregnant best friend for the last four years. She is in another city! Vince has just started working in a company a few minutes away from our street, so he decided to take his chance by informing me first. Talk about perfect and bad timing (perfect because if I’ve left just a few seconds earlier, Vince would have never gotten hold of me—his cell phone was low of battery) and bad because I honestly and literally had only P150, no ATM, and a credit card! We needed money for transportation and potential hospital fees. To make the story a little shorter, we managed to get transpo cash half an hour later and phoned Jes to take a cab with her siblings to the nearest hospital.
Vince and I almost flew to their city only to hear from Jes that that hospital didn’t want to admit her, because they don’t have an incubator, so the baby might die (yadah… yadah…). OK. Never mind. Try Fabella instead. Vince and I got there at first. Minutes later, I saw Jes WALKING towards us with her two siblings. Around 20 minutes later, we were off to another hospital because Fabella didn’t want to admit her either because, (guess what), they did have incubators this time, but they were all occupied. The hospital wanted us to sign a waver agreeing that the baby might die because they didn’t have enough facilities.
We again took a cab to the next city and I remember vividly that my mind was blank or maybe I was in shock. What seemed like an eternity, but we reached Chinese General Hospital, a big private hospital in the Metro, that didn’t want to admit Jes either because we didn’t know any available doctor from that hospital. It seems that hospitals don’t want to take the blame in case something bad happens in a premature pregnancy. Jes’ OB was out of town. We wasted another half an hour there.
Hailing another cab, we decided to try our luck at the Philippine General Hospital, where we were again declined because of the “no incubator available” reason. #$%@#$%! Where’s a &*^%^$$$ incubator when you need one?! We all took a sit at the front porch of the building where we gathered our thoughts. Sent by God, I believe, a lady out of nowhere, whose face I’ve already forgotten, approached me handing a small delivery clinic’s calling card. The clinic was supposed to be in the vicinity. Upon making sure that the OB is indeed in her clinic, we again searched for a taxi. It was supposed to be a small clinic near the vicinity, but, it was like looking for a needle in the haystack.
We finally reached the clinic, but obviously, it didn’t have an incubator plus it might be too risky to let Jes deliver there. The consolation prize is that the OB is part of a private hospital in Makati, and she definitely can deliver the baby there, then, place the baby in the incubator. Plus, the OB has her private van. Vince and Jes’ sibling had to commute because the van was too small to accommodate everyone.
That time in the van, I was clutching Jes, repeating to her over and over again to please hold on a little bit longer. It was already the rush hour and the van was moving inch by inch, meter by meter. You can’t just imagine how each second felt. I know several true to life incidents where the mother died due to child birth (a relative of mine did) and the mere thought of... We finally reached the hospital, and I had to stay behind in the registrar and cashier to do paper work, etc. I tightly clasp Jes’ arm, forcing not to think that it might be the last time to se her breathing again. The clasp felt like a century, but I wasn’t able to say anything but her name. I think Jes understood me for not giving her any pep talk. Maybe, my tears were enough.
When Jes informed me that she was pregnant, I was planning to teach the child on how to play the drums at toddler age. And boy or girl, s/he will learn the joys of anime, manga and video games. We also both agreed to influence the child of GUNPla at young age. I was also about to present the child with hand- crochet, home-sewed and embroidered baby clothes. Happy times.
Jes survived, but Jurei Jensei died after two and a half months in the nursery.
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Aaron, Dang and I met in Glorietta 4 one Thursday evening last month. Shels, a good friend of mine and Dang’s best friend, said she won’t be able to join us because she was packing and getting ready for a work seminar. Simon had his shift in the hospital. We three had a good time catching up from each other. Dang also informed us that Dang is very happy and fulfilled as a high school teacher. She is earning a meager wage and is the breadwinner of the family.
The next Monday, it was dawn and I was alerted from a text message from Aaron: I’ll be going to Shel’s wake at 3pm today. The first sentence that came to mind was that Shels is taking up wake boarding lessons. It took me a while to absorb, understand and accept the message. It was my first day in my dream company, but I must have looked like a fool, let alone crazy—can’t just stop wiping my eyes at work, while commuting, and at home.
Shels’ Kaoru Kamiya masterpiece painting, that she personally gave me a lifetime ago, is still in my room.
That lifetime ago, she also gave me a correct advice, which I didn’t speedily follow. Years later, I realized that I never got to thank her for that advice.
QueScie ’01 may have lost her greatest artist. But, I lost a good friend.
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I’m sorry, but, I have to stop for now. Too emotional to type…
…Woah. Just had to compose myself back there. I'm much better, now. I’ll be back soon, hopefully. ^__^
"You complete me." -Li Yong Fa of Battle B-Daman
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cheerful
depressed
curious
blank
accomplished
awake
excited
